May 16, 2007

It has been a few days, and much has happened.

1) Tuesday, I was called out on the carpet for something I said in one of my classes on Monday. I know I should not have said those things out loud, but in the emotion of the moment, it came out. My frustration at the class as well as passion for teaching led me to use the word "hell" in the classroom. In my opinion, not as bad as it could have been, and definitely not as bad as the words the students use and hear on a regular basis. My guess, it shocked a student to the point of telling their parents who then called the principal, who was less than happy to hear about it. As a result, I had to hear about it. Although he threatened me beyond what he could actually do, I got his point. I did contact my professional organization for advice and I submitted an "incident statement" to my file to accompany the principal's statement. Hopefully this is the last I will hear about it. The consultant from my professional organization also asked if I would be willing to got to REAP, which is a counseling type of thing, because of my frustrations with the classes. I said I had thought about it in the past and would be willing to try.

2) I must have hurt my foot while playing lasertag on Saturday because my bunion is killing me! It has gotten to the point where today I started walking with a crutch. It dis feel better this morning when I woke up, so we will see what happens tomorrow morning.

3) Michelle returned from Maine today. Hurt heart is torn, she know she wants to be here with Evan and me, but she feels that she needs to be with her mom and dad. She is afraid that her mom will pass and she won't be there. I told her today, that this is the hardest part, waiting. They are at a point where all they can really do is try and make her mom comfortable. I also told her that I know what I am going to say may not help, but unfortunately this happens to eveyone, the passing of a loved one, and everyone makes it, and so will she. It will be difficult until then and immediately after, but she will make it. I am going to suggest to her that her dad stays with us for a while after her mom passes. I couldn't imagine him living in their house in Maine that they bought together in the last few years knowing that one day this would all happen. The memories would tear him apart. I know that this is a big burden to put on Evan, but he would be a big pill for Michelle's dad when the time comes. We'll see. That day isn't here, and I don't want to put the cart before the horse.

"The issue of facing death in a peacful manner is a very difficult one. According to common sense there seem to be two ways of dealing with the problem and the suffering. The first is simply trying to avoid the problem, to put it out of your mind, even though the reality of that problem is stil there and it is not minimized. Another way of dealing with this issue is to look directly at the problem and analyse it, make it familiar to you, and make it clear that it is a part of all our lives." - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama